One question that we have gotten a lot since telling people about our adoption journey is “Why China?” It’s a valid question. Actually, all of the questions we have gotten have been valid. Did we want to try for another biological child? What about domestic adoption? What about kids in the foster care system that may come available for adoption? Why would we seemingly “choose” to adopt from China? To be completely honest, we wouldn’t. Actually, my heart wasn’t even open to adoption. Not even a little. I mean, I thought it was great for other people. I was a big fan of other families being willing to adopt. I wanted to pray for them, support them financially, bring them a meal….. But I most certainly did not want to adopt. My heart was hardened to it. I had told God “No”. Well, you know what often happens when we tell God “No”. That is the very thing that He then calls us to do. I kind of picture us like a small child saying “NO!” and stamping our foot on the ground. He just pats our heads and thinks “Oh, my child… You will see. See things my way. See how I will use this. How I will use you.” I feel like any time I have told God “no”, He has had other plans.
I tend to be a little hard headed. You would think I would have learned. Because of my emphatic “No”, I think He knew He had to approach it very cautiously. Otherwise I would probably run. He is such a patient, loving Father to me. He really is. It was China long before I ever knew it was a child. He had to soften me a little at a time. He put China on our hearts about 4 years ago. China. It was everywhere. Consuming our thoughts. China. It was put on both of our hearts individually, but right around the same time. We were both nervous to tell each other. How do you even explain something like that to your spouse, when you yourself don’t even understand it yet? When we finally did come together and talk, we were both surprised to hear that the other one was feeling the strong pull to China too. What was this draw to China we were both feeling? We explored several different possibilities. Josh as an engineer? Maybe a short term trip to offer some services? Possibly something more long term as an engineer? Maybe a mission trip as a couple? What if He was calling us as a family to go and be missionaries? Everything that we looked into just kind of fell flat though. It was evident that these were not what He had in mind. But still China.
It was a strange feeling to feel so drawn to somewhere without any clear direction. It weighed heavy on us. We didn’t really share with many people about this strange connection to China. We didn’t even understand it ourselves. We continued to feel it, and continued to pray about it. It kind of got put on a back burner. But it was still there, still simmering. We were definitely still aware of it, but were unsure what He was asking us to do. We kind of knew that it would come back up at some point. So we waited….
Houseful of Houghs 